All about Dorkface... I mean, Holly

Yes, to combat the evil done by my roommate, I shall retaliate. Muahaha.

Too much information about Holly Louise Ritchhart:

• Holly was born on September 20th, 1985 in Memphis, TN at St. Joseph's Hospital. She, unlike a guy we met freshman year named Cooter, was not the 2nd largest baby born there and did not come out holding a sandwich or having a deal to be the next linebacker for the 49ers.
• Holly is an only child... which should explain the rest of the weird things below.
• Holly had a gap the size of the Grand Canyon between her front teeth until she got braces in 10th grade.
• Holly is just like her mother. 'Nuff said.
• Holly likes to watch my FEMALE dog hump her leg until my mom proceeds to yell at her for doing so.
• Holly enjoys potty humor so much that she recently received the "Potty Training Award" at the last Bible study get together.
• Holly once made a video of her being an evil camera-woman crushing the invading ants on her kitchen counter.
• Holly once made a Wheel of Fortune video, and she gave herself a black unibrow and facial hair with black eyeliner. It looked nothing like Pat Sajak. I don't believe there was any form of a wheel either.
• Holly was obsessed with Britney Spears for several years (I'd say from 10th grade until last year) and commonly referred to her as "Britney" and "Brit." (They were so close they were on a first name basis...)
• Holly often found various people who had screennames and blogs calling themselves famous people and became their "friends." "Britney" often e-mailed her.
• Holly has (unless it's been removed) a larger-than-life head of Justin Timberlake taped near a mirror in her room that has a homemade quote bubble stating: "Oh, Holly-- you're so fine. Will you go out with me?"
• Holly laughs at inappropriate things, like the word "duty" during Care Group.
• Holly is attempting to become less crude.
• Holly does not use soap in the shower. She thinks shampoo and conditioner do enough cleansing.
• Holly apparently has a very keen sense of smell since she can detect even the smallest amount of sulfur dispensed in the air.
• Holly is afraid of children. Not deathly, just of holding them or having to be around them for more than 10 minutes without their parents there.
• Holly once freaked out that a spider the size of a piece of sand was repelling down into an open window and proceeded to jump into my side of the car while I was driving. I had to remove the spider from the vehicle as she crawled into the back seat.
• Holly is going to be a super senior, but hopefully not a super-duper senior.
• Holly plans out elaborate stories to repeat and begins retelling them immediately after they happen to make sure to include every word spoken and every weird detail. Sometimes they're rather hilarious.
• Holly cannot do laundry until her 55 gallon-sized laundry basket is completely full and the clothes are overflowing onto the floor.
• Holly has more shoes than normal people have hairs on their head.
• Holly is only person that really gets my sense of humor.
• Holly laughs at everything except planned jokes.
• Holly can only play Dance Dance Revolution by bouncing on her toes or snapping her fingers like it's show choir.
• Holly likes coffee... a little too much.
• Holly cannot impersonate Kermit the Frog. Ask her to try to say something besides "Kermit the Frog here."
• Holly likes to brush her teeth 4-5 times a day.
• Holly hates to drink water.
• Holly recently began eating fruit and vegetables. Maybe water will be next.
• Holly spends 2+ hours a day on her phone.
• Holly spends 2+ hours a day looking at profiles on facebook and all of their pictures, their friends pictures, and your mom's pictures.
• Holly likes really ugly or weird furniture.
• Holly's room is decked in leopard spots. (See above)
• Holly can handle my extremely mean humor.

I think that's a good note to end on although there's a lot more I could elaborate on. Enjoy!